Well that is quite a shitty analogy, but I hope to make sense of it. What I mean to say is that when bad things happen, you can always turn your negative experience into something good...or at least better.
Take my week for example. In the past few days, my computer has completely failed me. I used it primarily for school (taking notes) and for interneting after school. Last night, my power cord gave up on me. If my computer doesn't get power, the battery drains, and the computer will eventually die. If the computer dies, I cannot access *any* of my notes. Sure, I have them backed up- from their versions 6 months ago. Point is- if my computer won't turn on, there's no point for me to go to class.
The second bad thing to happen (which actually happened before the battery drainage) was that my digital pen fell out of the slot and is now gone. This sucks royally because, being in many science-based classes, we often have to draw structures and mechanisms all over our notes. Believe it or not, this is incredibly hard to do on a track pad. I can't tell you how many times I tried to grab for the non-existent pen today to draw something. I ended up having to type out what he was drawing. That will be fun to study.
But when I got home from class today, I decided to give HP a call. When I got through to a person, I was amazed! I told her what problems I was having with the power cord and that my pen fell out even after I had clicked it in the slot, and she said, "Oh that's no problem; we can send those to you right away. They should be there by the end of the week." The end of the what? This week? You mean in, like, two DAYS?!? Customer service *always* gives me trouble (unless I'm at Walmart), so I always get incredibly nervous to call and complain about anything. HP totally won me back today and completely improved my day/week.
Another easy way to turn negative into positive was to avoid one of the things causing me to have a bad week. School. The two tests I took yesterday bummed me out completely, so I decided to sleep in today. I don't even need to tell you how enjoyable that was. It renewed my positive attitude and got me through a quiz and one whole class.
The hardest part about turning the negatives into positives was, for me, deciding to do it. Sometimes the worst part of being happy is deciding to give up your anger/frustration and just be happy again. But once I did, I felt tons of tons of relief. So if anything is frustrating you or making you mad, try to let it go so that you can start enjoying life again.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
23 = adult?
I'm 23 years old. That makes me an adult...sort of. I feel completely grown up- I have responsibilities, LOTS of responsibilities; I take care of myself; I don't need (or want) input from my parents anymore; I have a wonderfully mature relationship; I make my own money and spend it carefully; I even have a freaking budget that works!
So doesn't all of this prove that I'm an adult? Not really. I still don't really *feel* like an adult. I still rent my place and have to ask my landlord for permission to do anything to it. "Hey Jerry, I clogged my toilet. Is it ok if I unclog it myself, or should I call your preselected plumber?" That sort of relationship definitely keeps me from feeling older.
I also am not treated as an adult. My boyfriend is currently looking for a car and every time we walk into a dealership, we're completely ignored. I guess we don't look like we have money. Or maybe we just look like poor college students that shouldn't be able to afford a new car. That's the part I don't get though. When I see other people my age, I think they look older- not old, but older. They look like they could have a kid on the way, or that they've owned a house for a few years. They look like their parents are well into their gray-hair years. When I look in the mirror, I don't see that type of person. I feel like I still look like I'm fresh out of high school.
What I'm so confused about is how I can feel so grown up and so not grown up at the same time. I also don't understand why people still treat me like I'm some rude high schooler that is just trying to show off in front of their friends. One of the reasons I've been thinking about this lately is that I feel like it's time to take that next step and stop throwing my money away each month. What am I talking about? Buying a house, of course. I pay rent each month, right? And where does that go? Straight into my landlord's pocket is where. I don't see a cent of it and probably won't even get my deposit back in the end. What else will I leave behind? The house (duplex)! I don't leave with anything to show for how much I've paid over the past two years.
Before it didn't bother me because I didn't really have too much to put in a house, and I wasn't too sure about much in my life. Renting was nice because as soon as the year was over I could pack up my things and head on to the next place. I could pick new roommates, buy a new comforter and forget all that had happened in the past year if I wanted to. But now there are so many more sure things in my life- almost everything actually. I have a boyfriend that is here to stay -I've know that for a while, but it's really cemented now- I have a job that I can't lose, I am close(r) to being done with school and will graduate with probably a half dozen job offers, and each one of those jobs will enable me to live a cushy life- a very, very cushy life. The best thing about everything that has changed in my life is that I'm sure about everything I do. I have morphed into my OWN person. No longer do I follow what everyone else things, or do things just because they'll be accepted. I am who I am and for once in my life I am *so* not afraid to show it to the world. I take actions and do not think about them twice because I do my research and make sure I'm making the right decision.
So why can't people see this from the outside? Why am I not treated as an adult? Why in the HELL won't my sister stop asking me, "Did you ask Mom if that's ok?" I'm almost 24 years old! I don't need my mother to tell me what's ok and what's not. Now that I've said that, I think I'm going to have to ask my mother for advice on transitioning from a child to an adult and how to change people's perception of you. Part of what is hard is that other people my age aren't at the same spot mentally that I am. A lot of them still live their life to party and don't think as much about the things I do. If I were around more like-minded people I might have a clue what to do about how I'm feeling.
The question I'm always left asking myself is: should I continue to allow myself to mature and try to figure out how to feel like and adult/be perceived as one, or should I 'act my age' and party a little more? But I guess only time will tell.
So doesn't all of this prove that I'm an adult? Not really. I still don't really *feel* like an adult. I still rent my place and have to ask my landlord for permission to do anything to it. "Hey Jerry, I clogged my toilet. Is it ok if I unclog it myself, or should I call your preselected plumber?" That sort of relationship definitely keeps me from feeling older.
I also am not treated as an adult. My boyfriend is currently looking for a car and every time we walk into a dealership, we're completely ignored. I guess we don't look like we have money. Or maybe we just look like poor college students that shouldn't be able to afford a new car. That's the part I don't get though. When I see other people my age, I think they look older- not old, but older. They look like they could have a kid on the way, or that they've owned a house for a few years. They look like their parents are well into their gray-hair years. When I look in the mirror, I don't see that type of person. I feel like I still look like I'm fresh out of high school.
What I'm so confused about is how I can feel so grown up and so not grown up at the same time. I also don't understand why people still treat me like I'm some rude high schooler that is just trying to show off in front of their friends. One of the reasons I've been thinking about this lately is that I feel like it's time to take that next step and stop throwing my money away each month. What am I talking about? Buying a house, of course. I pay rent each month, right? And where does that go? Straight into my landlord's pocket is where. I don't see a cent of it and probably won't even get my deposit back in the end. What else will I leave behind? The house (duplex)! I don't leave with anything to show for how much I've paid over the past two years.
Before it didn't bother me because I didn't really have too much to put in a house, and I wasn't too sure about much in my life. Renting was nice because as soon as the year was over I could pack up my things and head on to the next place. I could pick new roommates, buy a new comforter and forget all that had happened in the past year if I wanted to. But now there are so many more sure things in my life- almost everything actually. I have a boyfriend that is here to stay -I've know that for a while, but it's really cemented now- I have a job that I can't lose, I am close(r) to being done with school and will graduate with probably a half dozen job offers, and each one of those jobs will enable me to live a cushy life- a very, very cushy life. The best thing about everything that has changed in my life is that I'm sure about everything I do. I have morphed into my OWN person. No longer do I follow what everyone else things, or do things just because they'll be accepted. I am who I am and for once in my life I am *so* not afraid to show it to the world. I take actions and do not think about them twice because I do my research and make sure I'm making the right decision.
So why can't people see this from the outside? Why am I not treated as an adult? Why in the HELL won't my sister stop asking me, "Did you ask Mom if that's ok?" I'm almost 24 years old! I don't need my mother to tell me what's ok and what's not. Now that I've said that, I think I'm going to have to ask my mother for advice on transitioning from a child to an adult and how to change people's perception of you. Part of what is hard is that other people my age aren't at the same spot mentally that I am. A lot of them still live their life to party and don't think as much about the things I do. If I were around more like-minded people I might have a clue what to do about how I'm feeling.
The question I'm always left asking myself is: should I continue to allow myself to mature and try to figure out how to feel like and adult/be perceived as one, or should I 'act my age' and party a little more? But I guess only time will tell.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Pro-life? Pro-choice? Or on the fence?
These past few years seem like they have been ones full of change. When I was little, I was my parents' child. I believed and fully agreed with everything they said. Ever since I graduated (high school), my brain has been working overtime coming up with all the reasons my parents are freakin' nuts.
My latest mind boggling realization is that I'm not sure I'm pro-life anymore. I *am* pro-life for myself. That is one huge reason why I'm still abstinent. If I were to ever get pregnant, I would -without a doubt- birth and raise the child I created. I do believe that life begins at conception, so if I ever conceived a child, I would never dream of aborting it. To me, that is similar to murder. Obviously, one wouldn't being killing the fetus in malice, but killing a living being is killing regardless of the intent.
A lot of pro-lifers forget to draw the line here. Abortion is not for *me* but why should I tell anyone else what they should do? I really hope people that are sexually active are smart about it and protect themselves from becoming pregnant, but is it really up to me to tell someone I think they're horrible because they do get pregnant and end up aborting the fetus? Absolutely not!
Their life, their decision. So....that makes me pro-choice, right? I'm still not quite sure. I never like to label myself because a) I don't ever fit perfectly on either side...I'm too open-minded and can sympathize with each side (usually) and b) I don't like for others to form ideas about me based on what I label myself. When people would hear that I was pro-life, they'd immediately treat me differently if they were pro-choice. Why? Did I instantly change from the person they had known to someone evil? No, I was still my same self...they had just learned something new about me they didn't like or agree with.
So what I've learned is that I'm both: pro-life (which is what I'd *prefer* for most people to choose) but pro-choice for that same reason- I think each and every person has the right to *choose* what's right for them. I've also learned that labels are dumb and that you can't hate people or think of them differently just because they have a different viewpoint. If my parents read this, they might just disown me- my grandparents would for sure. How sad is that?
People are set in their ways- most people aren't going to change what they believe in ever in their lives- that's just the way they are. People especially aren't going to change just because you pester them to. That's just one of the ways Students for Life went wrong today. Their massive display just upset people- pro-life and pro-choice (and those in between!). If I were on the fence between pro-life and pro-choice, I'd definitely sway toward pro-choice after seeing that display today. It was just absolutely ridiculous- everyone knows what happens anyway; showing pictures of it won't change anyone's mind.
I feel like I'm getting redundant now- I've been out of this writing thing for waaaay too long now. Let's hope my future posts are better written and have some structure!
My latest mind boggling realization is that I'm not sure I'm pro-life anymore. I *am* pro-life for myself. That is one huge reason why I'm still abstinent. If I were to ever get pregnant, I would -without a doubt- birth and raise the child I created. I do believe that life begins at conception, so if I ever conceived a child, I would never dream of aborting it. To me, that is similar to murder. Obviously, one wouldn't being killing the fetus in malice, but killing a living being is killing regardless of the intent.
A lot of pro-lifers forget to draw the line here. Abortion is not for *me* but why should I tell anyone else what they should do? I really hope people that are sexually active are smart about it and protect themselves from becoming pregnant, but is it really up to me to tell someone I think they're horrible because they do get pregnant and end up aborting the fetus? Absolutely not!
Their life, their decision. So....that makes me pro-choice, right? I'm still not quite sure. I never like to label myself because a) I don't ever fit perfectly on either side...I'm too open-minded and can sympathize with each side (usually) and b) I don't like for others to form ideas about me based on what I label myself. When people would hear that I was pro-life, they'd immediately treat me differently if they were pro-choice. Why? Did I instantly change from the person they had known to someone evil? No, I was still my same self...they had just learned something new about me they didn't like or agree with.
So what I've learned is that I'm both: pro-life (which is what I'd *prefer* for most people to choose) but pro-choice for that same reason- I think each and every person has the right to *choose* what's right for them. I've also learned that labels are dumb and that you can't hate people or think of them differently just because they have a different viewpoint. If my parents read this, they might just disown me- my grandparents would for sure. How sad is that?
People are set in their ways- most people aren't going to change what they believe in ever in their lives- that's just the way they are. People especially aren't going to change just because you pester them to. That's just one of the ways Students for Life went wrong today. Their massive display just upset people- pro-life and pro-choice (and those in between!). If I were on the fence between pro-life and pro-choice, I'd definitely sway toward pro-choice after seeing that display today. It was just absolutely ridiculous- everyone knows what happens anyway; showing pictures of it won't change anyone's mind.
I feel like I'm getting redundant now- I've been out of this writing thing for waaaay too long now. Let's hope my future posts are better written and have some structure!
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