Crazy what can happen when you're procrastinating

So tonight I was avoiding studying for finals, and I decided to look up "Kinamrok" and see what I could find. It's my last name spelled backwards.

When I was little, my dad played records for us that his uncle produced through his label: Kinamrok Records. I didn't know if anyone was still running that label, so I wanted to find out. Unfortunately, the website is currently blocked by Google, so I couldn't go directly to it, but I did find a blog with a couple of the songs on it.

The person, it seemed, was buying a new record every week (or so) and posting up information about it on their blog, with a recording of the songs on it included in the post. It was pretty cool to listen to songs that I could faintly remember and know that one of my ancestors had produced it. He also got a letter from the President('s aide) when he sent him a copy of one of his records.

After finding that, I decided to do a little more digging. Kinamrok Records used to be located at 400 Luray Ave in Johnstown, VA back in the day, so I searched that on Google. Turns out someone else (with my last name) now owns Kinamrok Inc, which runs an apartment building at that same address.

After typing the address into Google Maps, I found this:

Do you see what I see? I see the street that Kinamrok Inc is on- Luray Ave- perpendicular to Rachel Street which is perpendicular to Kinamrok Street.

Now maybe just about anything will amuse me at this point in studying for finals, but I find that to be quite an amazing coincidence. History is so cool.

Time to move on

I have a history of holding onto things too long. Not in the "hoarder" sense; I have a hard time letting people from my past go. I love thinking back about my past, and I spend a lot of time wishing my present could be more like it and that the friendships I had then could be transported- as they were- to the present time.

But in the past couple of weeks, I've realized that not only is that never going to happen (I'd actually realized this long ago, I just wouldn't accept it) but I don't really want it to anymore.

Don't get me wrong- there are PLENTY of old friends that I will never let go of, but a few of them just aren't the same people. They aren't the person I knew 5-6 years ago and never will be again. Although we used to get along well and have a lot of fun together, that just wouldn't happen now or in the future because we've grown into completely different types of people. A month or so ago this would have upset me greatly, but now I'm just coming to terms with it. I've decided that I'll always have the good memories, and that trying to move forward and bring my old friendships into my future would probably just tarnish the good memories.

One thing I need to learn to do is not sabotage my memories. When I have free time to sit around and do nothing, I start to get upset about how few friends I'm still close to. I don't really have a best friend (other than Alexey) that I can text all day about nothing, no one to gossip with, no one to go to when I just feel like crying, no one to hang out with or call just to talk. Then I start thinking that maybe I just built my favorite friendships up to be more than they actually were and that the people I considered close friends had other friends they were much closer to and that I was just that tag along friend that people just put up with.

I also do the "what if" game, and wonder about what could have happened had I not joined the sorority, had I driven back to OP for more parties, had I drank more or gone out more...would I still be friends with them? Would they have cared enough more to keep in touch with me even when we moved/grew apart? But I know that's a really bad game to play. 

The important part should be that I valued those friendships, and that I have a lot of great memories with those friends. I just have to hope/believe that I will build many more close friendships as soon as school ends and I feel like I can have a life again. And if not, well, I'll just have to move on with my life.

Rearranging movie files

I spent most of my day today rearranging movie files on my computer. This was quite a massive task. I started with probably about 15 different folders named "Video" in various subfolders. Together they contained near 1000 movies. I found out that I had quite a few duplicates, so I was able to trash those & gain some more space on my computer.

As annoying and tedious as it was, it was just as fun, & I really enjoyed seeing some videos I had forgotten existed!

One thing I'll say is that I really wish I took more videos of me & Alexey in the first few years of our relationship. I've got a few, but they are so precious to me & there just aren't enough! I also realized that I didn't take enough video of my animals when they were little. I guess this is good to realize now- just in case we do have babies some day. Maybe then I'll remember how much I regret not having filmed more of their life.

A lot of people have told me I take too many pictures/videos & that I need to just enjoy it. The problem is that I really love memories, but I have a horrible memory. When I see pictures or videos, it triggers the memory in my head & I remember everything about that moment. Without them, I can recall that something like it happened, but I don't have any details. And even though I'm snapping pictures or filming, I still enjoy the moment as it's happening. If I wasn't, the pictures or videos wouldn't matter because I wouldn't enjoy them in the future anyway.

So my goal from here on out is to film Alexey & myself more often & actually TALK in the videos about things that are going on in our lives. Of the few videos there are, we have so many questions about them- like when they were filmed, how old we were, etc, so we're going to leave ourselves some more clues. I'm also not going to take quite so many pictures. I opened up that folder & promptly exited back out because it scared me. Even though I've "organized" it a few times, it's still a complete wreck just because of the sheer amount of photos I have.

Reminiscing today was great & I can't wait until a few years from now when I have even more videos to look back at, smile & remember :)